Reversed Tourettes

Fuck off! Oh, I´m sorry I meant merry christmas.

Oil on canvas

July 12, 2008

Pure literature...

Para não tar a repetir a minha triste história, vou contar a todos ao mesmo tempo:
Ontem à noite foi uma desgraça, là fui eu sozinho e abandonado (sim o Jorge fodeu-me)...apanhei uma puta duma bebedeira violenta (explico a violencia mais à frente), mas não sei como aconteceu...o pior é que o Dylan não valeu um caralho, maior desilusão da minha vida, fodido abandonei o recinto...depois de me perder à procura do carro, lá o encontrei 57min depois...là cheguei a casa e arranjei um estacionamento espectacular - foi a melhor coisa que me aconteceu ontem. Lá entrei em casa e comi (não me lembro o quê mas comi buès). Deitei-me e ai foi possuido por um espirito maléfico e tomou a forma de um liquido viscoso nojento que "poltergeistou" fora de mim como Niagra falls mas em sentido contràrio -. "o queijo da pizza tava estragado" disse eu...e agora o quarto tem um cheiro misto de cerveja, leite, merda e um animal atropelado morto à 2 dias...tudo culpa do Jorge.

PL (Pre-G.J.)

Giant Jockey gets revenge

There he was fucking mocking me after all these years with his martini and beer vs. my gay martini and lemon juice, it was only 11am but still made me look like a pussy...
There he was, he looked like a rock star, actually more like a local god, the kind of guy that doesn´t mind dying no further than 5km from where he grew up, he probably went all the way to Tenerife on vacation once but fucking hated it. Bad boys don´t wear shorts...
There he was, cool as ever, you know the type that has sex with prostitutes but doesn´t have to pay and the whores will probably cook and clean for him...
There he was, working class hero, straight out of a Springsteen song, probably never touched a computer, cause that´s how you catch aids, google, blog, swine flu, and all those fucked up diseases and viruses...
There he was, reminded me of Mel Gibson in "Payback" the first and only guy (so far) that beat the living shit out of me, this was over 20 years ago and I was sitting at the table right next to him. He looked exactly the same, a little more seasoned, like he only kicks ass out of principle and not just for fun...
There he was "preaching" to his retarded looking buddies and something was on his chest, he looked at me and for a second I thought he was going to say something like "you were my favorite, it was an honor to kick that beautiful ass" or "I am just jealous", it turns out it was a "I know that fag drinking that fruity drink from somewhere" look...

There he was the big fish swimming in a shit infested little pond rambling on something and the apes were paying attention and me - the little monkey tuned in - blah blah blah, the man is sticking it to me, blah blah blah, I work my ass off, and then he said it, the 6 magical words that set me free from this miserable fuck - "my base salary is 682 euros".
There I was the guy that won the fight after all and all I had to do was sell my soul... "Mel" didn´t get his payback this time around.
What a great day to be a sell-out.

PL

Giant Jockey at the gym

My recurring nightmare came true - I fell on my ass (arse for you Bifes) at the gym. In my dream my bum leg craps out and I smash my teeth and I end up looking like a retarded jack-o-lantern...luckily that did not happen...anyway I was on the treadmill running at 3000km/hr while listening to Artie Lange and he said something that I will probably relate to in three to five yrs from now - "A lot of people say you do not have energy after you fuck but all the girls I'm with have just enough energy to throw up and then ask me for 500 dollars..." I starting laughing like crazy got violently launched from the treadmill everyone there thought a 767 crashed into the building and I just laid there screaming "estou bem" and laughing at the same time...you know what they say -"the bigger the jockey, bigger is the fall...

PL

Giant Jockey series Vol I

OK, he doesn´t like blogs, at least that what he says... But as you all will agree he writes good shit, so I´ll post his stuff here. He will bitch and moan about this but secretly he will enjoy it.
Paul, my brother, just keep it coming.